Not That Magical: Voodoo Doughnut

Voodoo Doughnut is a Portland institution, but, as we all know, institutions aren't always purveyors of a city's best food.  Nevertheless, most of the time, a line snakes out of Voodoo Doughnut.

Believe it or not, we still had room to eat after our dinner at Beast, so we headed to Voodoo Doughnut with our new young doppelganger friends.

Lucky for all of us, the line was pretty short.  There's no way I'd wait in the lines we saw during the day.

Especially now that I've tasted the donuts.

At least some of them were cute?  At least they made for fun photos?  At least our new friends treated us?  (So nice, those kids!)

Our new sidekicks got a Tex-Ass Challenge (a giant doughnut equivalent to six doughnuts) and The Loop for themselves.

They were such sweethearts and bought us our giant box of donuts to thank us for driving them around.  We meet the coolest people!

After we dropped our dinner companions off at their hotel, we headed back to our own room to sample our pink box offerings.

The Loop -- raised yeast doughnut with vanilla frosting and Froot Loops.

So adorable but so disappointing!  The loops had lost all of their crunch.  The doughnut was limp.

Voodoo Doll -- raised yeast doughnut filled with raspberry jelly topped with chocolate frosting and a pretzel stake.

WTF?  This was supposed to look like the Voodoo Doughnut logo.  Go scroll up and look at the neon sign at the top of this post.  FAIL.

McMinnville Cream -- raised yeast doughnut filled with Bavarian cream with maple frosting on top and two eyeballs and a mustache.

This li'l guy got a tad mangled in the box, but I still thought he was so cute.  This doughnut was decent.

Bacon Maple Bar --raised yeast doughnut with maple frosting and bacon on top.

Best doughnut in the box.  It was the only one that we actually finished.  The truth is we ate only one or two bites of the others.

Cock-N-Balls -- raised yeast doughnut triple filled with Bavarian cream and topped with chocolate frosting.

Ok.  I got this one just to photograph it.  It was filled with cream, people.  So gross.  So funny.

Maple Blazer Blunt -- raised yeast doughnut rolled into a blunt, dusted with cinnamon sugar, and dipped in maple frosting with red sprinkle embers.

Great photo op (complete with the Kimpton hotel chain's signature animal-print robe).  Terrible taste.  Dry.  Blech.

Voodoo Doughnut is not really worth a visit unless you go with new foodie friends who treat when the line is short.  The doughnuts really don't impress.