WINNING: Girl & the Goat

After the second Weezer concert, we went to Girl & the Goat for a late dinner. Top Chef fans will recognize this as Season Four winner Stephanie Izard's restaurant.

Thank you so much, tosababy, for making the reservation. We had a great time with you and your husband. Winning!

Dark and Stormy -- English Harbor Antigua rum, Cruzan Blackstrap rum, ginger ale, lime ($12).

You need this bitchin'-ness.

Hiramasa crudo -- yellowtail, crisp pork belly, aji aioli, caperberries ($16).

This dish wasn't bi-polar. It was bi-WINNING.

Lamb sausage-stuffed calamari, sweet garlic, sweetbread crisp, currant ($15).

It's a polygamy story. It's like an organic union of the hearts.

Seared scallops, brown butter XO, goat sausage, white shrimp, shiitakes, winter squash ($16).

Scallops are the best at what they do, and goat sausage and white shrimp are the best at what they do. And, together, it's like...it's on.

Sauteed green beans, fish sauce vinaigrette, cashews ($8).

I mean, what's not to love? Especially when you see how these green beans party, man. It's epic. The run these beans were on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards -- all of them -- just look like droopy-eyed, armless children.

Chickpea fritters, Romesco, hazelnut hummus, sesame, goat feta ($11).

Get over here, and enjoy the ride, bro. We're starting to win.

Bourbon-poached lobster and crab, goat belly, fennel, vanilla bourbon butter ($21).

This dish is tired of pretending it's not a total bitchin' rock star from Mars, and people can't figure it out. They can't process it. I don't expect them to. You can't process this with a normal brain

Goat, pork, and veal sugo, pappardelle, rosemary, cape gooseberries ($14).

It's perfect. It's awesome. This dish is just filled with just wins. All it does is put wins in the record books. It wins so radically in its underwear before its first cup of coffee, it's scary.

Wood oven-roasted pig face, sunny-side egg, tamarind, cilantro, potato stix ($16).

This dish has tiger blood and Adonis DNA. It won best dish at 20, and it wasn't even trying.

Bittersweet chocolate, shiitake gelato, toffee crème fraiche.

It's done. It's on. Bring it.

Sesame semifreddo, pork fat donuts, sambal pineapple.

I am on a drug. It's called this dessert. If you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off, and your children will weep over your exploded body.

This was my favorite meal during this Chicago weekend trip.

And this is my favorite Charlie Sheen-related site.