Playing Ketchup

If you want fabulous food, don't go to Ketchup. If you want fabulous people-watching, hurry over.

Ketchup is a restaurant, but you don't really go there to eat. Knowing what you know of me, some of you may be wondering how I ended up here.

My dear friend and former Green Giant co-worker, Kerfuffle, who now lives in Florida, was in town for a few days with her co-worker, whom I will call "Arkansas." Arkansas had never been to L.A., and Kerfuffle planned the perfect itinerary for her L.A.-virgin friend -- it hit all the major tourist spots, but it also included a number of activities off the beaten path.

As part of their Very L.A. Excursion, the two stayed at The Standard in West Hollywood, and, having eaten a good solid meal the night before at Magnolia prior to watching Wicked at The Pantages, Arkansas was ready to experience the ridiculousness that is the L.A. scene.

So I made a reservation at Ketchup, which is within walking distance from The Standard, not to mention it's very close to The Viper Room, which was their next stop after Ketchup. How convenient!

Really, what is more stereotypically L.A. than a restaurant co-owned by a former Big Brother contestant and has Tara Reid and a gaggle of That '70s Show alumni (including Mr. Demi Moore) as investors?

Oh yeah, and this was where Speidi had their showdown with Lauren and Jason.

Do you feel the rain on your skin yet? Because...no one else can feel it for you. Only you can let it in.

When you walk into Ketchup, you might feel as if you've been transported to the Red Light District of Amsterdam. Well, not really. But there are indeed red lights galore. And lots of girls dressed like high-end hookers.

The place is filled with all sorts of modern tomato-related decor. It's like a Target commercial mated with Andy Warhol in the fresh produce section of a swanky supermarket. Unrelatedly, I found it difficult to banish my thoughts of "Red rum! Red rum!" when I saw the ketchup splatter motif on the internal window between the dining and bar areas.


This tomato in a box greeted us when we arrived at our table.

The breadsticks and pretzel bread paired well with mustard and tomato butter. It took me awhile to figure out the tomato butter. Then I decided I liked it a lot and smeared it all over my chewy and crunchy carbs.

Ketchup! Five kinds: chipotle, ranch, original, maple, and mango.

The 3some ($10) consisted of garlic fries, sweet potato fries, and thicker cut fries. I liked the chipotle ketchup the most for the regular fries, and the maple was perfect for the sweet potato. They weren't the most outstanding fries in the world, but I enjoyed them nonetheless. The presentation was very cute.

Arkansas dined on mini chicken tacos ($12) with fire-grilled chicken, lime aioli, spicy guacamole, melted cheese, and chipotle ketchup. How adorable are these? You can pick them up with two fingers!

Kerfuffle opted for the BBQ chick ($16), comprised of a barbecued chicken breast, garlic mashed potatoes, and roasted corn-on-the-cob.

This little piggy went cannibalistic and ordered hickory smoked BBQ baby pork ribs and macaroni 'n' cheese with white truffle and dungeness crab ($24). The ribs were fine -- tender and sweet but lacking smokiness and oomph.

The mac 'n' cheese was delectable. I really enjoyed the toasted crab-filled top, and, although I couldn't really taste much of the purported truffles, I found the flavor of the gooey white cheddar to be quite delicious. Thumbs up on this one. I would just get a side of this as a meal if I ever came back.

Dessert was depressingly lackluster. This ice cream sandwich ($8) looked great, but the cookies were bland and limp and neither chewy nor crunchy. You've got to pick a side, cookies. You can't just straddle the line. The saving grace was that the ice cream was quite good.

The apple pie ($8) came in a ramekin and was the temperature of the sun. I love hot apple pie. In fact, lukewarm apple pie makes me really sad. But even I thought this little scorcher was too hot to handle. The apples were also too crisp for pie.

Food snobs scoff at Ketchup. Hard. But I didn't think it was really that bad. You just need to know why you're there. If you go and expect gourmet quality, then you're the idiot. The service is decent. The atmosphere is fun. And the patrons are deliciously absurd.