Lady of Leisure, Day Two (Not Really)

I'm so tired. So not a leisurely day today, but at least the end was good.

In an attempt to be a more positive person, I suppose another plus was that I was on the move much of the day, so my butt wasn't glued to the left cushion of my living room couch like it was yesterday.

Maybe I'll even hop on the elliptical soon. Tonight, despite being worn, I can't sleep and have this weird restless energy. I know. It doesn't make sense.

It makes even less sense that I've been doing my old tae kwon do moves while watching recorded ANTM, Gossip Girl, Project Runway, and Kid Nation. It's 2:48 a.m., and, for some strange reason, I'm reliving my pathetic yellow belt days.

Hey, cut me some slack re the lame-o yellow belt. My mom sent me to tae kwon do because I was fat, not because she was concerned with my abilities to defend myself. I was the ugly, slow, roly-poly girl with whom no one ever wanted to spar. And there were such cute boys in my class, too. They were not very nice to me. Understatement of all time. Oof. It still makes me sad to think about it today.

Hmm. To watch or not to watch Pushing Daisies, Dirty Sexy Money, and Kitchen Nightmares? That is the question.

Mr. Monkey asked me around midnight, "So what time are you going to bed? 4? 5?" He knows me and my crazy ways so well. God bless him. This, coming from a Buddhist. Ok, who am I kidding? I'm not even a real practicing Buddhist, except for when I light the incense sticks and bow a few times when we visit the grave of Mr. Monkey's mom. Sham. I am a fraud. Faux Buddhist. It's sadder than faux fur. Well, actually it's not. Real fur is sadder than both.

I hate Faulkner. I hate ridiculous stream-of-consciousness. I hate this. But I sort of love my own version. Paradox.

I started this a little before midnight and just left the window open.

*sigh*

What a day. I can't even organize my thoughts about the madness of today's events. All I can do is talk about the humiliation of fat-childhood-martial-arts trauma.

Perhaps I'll attempt to recap tomorrow. There were definitely some gems today. I peed in a cup, which Santa Claus sealed. I verbally bitch-slapped a rent-a-cop. I drove aimlessly down a major busy street for nearly 30 minutes before realizing I was totally day-dreaming and not paying attention to what the fuck I was doing.

And then I had a four-hour dinner with a good friend. It's amazing how time flies when you're with a dear pal.

It kind of reminded me of what I sometimes did in college. I'd bring a bunch of books to "study" in the dining hall in the morning and then just sit there until dark. Breakfast. Lunch. Dinner. I'd sit through the meals of about nine or ten different groups of friends. Good times. Bad grades.

I think I'll watch Kitchen Nightmares now.