Ms. Monkey, If You're Nasty

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I'm here at work, waiting for confirmation that my nasty letter was successfully faxed to eight other attorneys, and then I'm going home to rest up for a bright and early morning. I need to be in Irvine at 9 a.m. tomorrow. UGH.

What gives? Well, I received a strange fax this morning that informed me that the location of Ms. Thang's deposition had been changed.

Huh? Ms. Thang is being deposed? Jigga what? (And, yes, I actually uttered those last two words aloud when I read the fax. Super professional.)

This fax from Ms. Thang's counsel was the first I'd ever heard of the deposition. It turns out plaintiffs' counsel never served me a notice of deposition of Ms. Thang. Bitches!

Without going into detail, I called and basically read plaintiffs' counsel the riot act...in a calm and collected manner, of course. Now, normally, while most attorneys are indeed assholes, they do extend professional courtesies and know when to admit, "Hey, mea culpa." (That's the equivalent of "my bad," for you non-Latin-speaking folks.) This was a total mea culpa moment for plaintiffs' counsel. You forgot to serve us. Just admit it, and schedule the deposition for another date.

But no. He's not just an asshole. He's a stupid asshole. Other reasonable attorneys would've postponed the deposition, as clearly my client has been prejudiced in its preparation for this deposition in its defense of this matter. This guy? He claims he had no obligation serve us. Really? REALLY?! Ahem.

California Code of Civil Procedure section 2025.240(a) provides:

The party who prepares a notice of deposition shall give the notice to every other party who has appeared in the action. The deposition notice, or the accompanying proof of service, shall list all the parties or attorneys for parties on whom it is served.

Sorry, dude. You lose.

But not really. I lose. At least on a personal level.

The depo is still going forward tomorrow. Boooooo. Any judge will surely grant me another shot at asking Ms. Thang the questions I need to ask, but there's no getting around my having to go all the way to Irvine to this damn thing. And I thought this week was going to be easy. So much for watching The Biggest Loser and Beauty and the Geek. Looks like me and a buttload of documents tonight. Breach of contract. Fraud. Negligence. Breach of fiduciary duty. Injunctive relief. Argh. SO BORING. Harry Potter, this ain't.

At least I got to write a nasty letter. And, unlike plaintiffs' counsel, I sent it to counsel for all parties. How do you like that, bitch? I can't wait to read it into the record tomorrow. Fuck you, plaintiffs' counsel. I hate you, and I'm going to mop the floor with you by the end of this case.

Confirmation received. Nasty-gram out!