I Work Hard for the Money

So hard for it, honey. I can't be the only one here who brings home the bacon, as opposed to cooking it, right? And I'm not talking about part-time work. Hell, I'm not even talking about 9 to 5. I scoff at 9 to 5. That's a cakewalk.

Many of us slave away every day, logging in long, long hours. We don't have dinner simmering on the stovetop when our husbands come home. We don't flit about the house, dusting and tidying. We don't ponder which blue gingham will look best in the baby's nursery. We work, work, work, and some of us are the primary breadwinners of our households.

So why does The Nest perpetuate the stereotype of the 1950s housewife? "Parenting"? "Babies on the Brain"? "Entertaining Ideas"? "Your Home"? "Cleaning House"? Seriously? I see the titles, and I want to hurl. Martha Stewart, I am not, nor will I ever be.

I propose the following boards:

Breadwinner Bonding: Career women can bitch about work and the struggle to juggle their professional lives and their home lives.

Childless by Choice: Baby haters unite! Finally, a board for all of us who hate insipid talk of anything baby-related.

Pop Culture Potpourri: Ok, maybe not "potpourri," but I'm trying to be alliterative, and I've run out of creative juice. Here, we'd talk about TV, movies, etc. Eff the Nest Book Club. I don't have the time to read books. I need instant gratification.

I'm not dissing the stay-at-home (or aspiring stay-at-home) moms out there. Not at all. That's great that you are having and raising your children. More power to you. That's not an option for me, should I ever change my mind about children, because I must earn a living. I'm not dissing you. I'm just saying I have little to nothing in common with you on this particular front. I don't care to know details of your ovulation cycle. I don't care to give you any input on middle names. I don't care to look at your inscrutable ultrasounds. (No, actually, I don't see his little hands there.) You keep that talk on your boards, and maybe we can chat about other things on mine.

Oh, wait. Mine don't exist. Poop.

Movin' on Up

Postage rates are going up! New rates are effective May 14, 2007. You can read more about it here. Letters under one ounce will require $0.41 postage. Letters between one and two ounces will require $0.58 postage, which is actually a decrease from the current $0.63 rate -- good news for brides!

I guess this means I should write my long-overdue thank-you cards by May 14, so I can still use my superhero stamps. Heh.

Saving Face

On your wedding day, there's no mistake about it -- all eyes will be on you. Yes, the day is about you and your husband, but, in reality, the cameras will only be pointed your way, and your face and skin will be front and center...and memorialized on film.

Now, I don't want to sound like stupid blonde celebrity reading cue cards and touting Proactiv solution, but after having recently experienced a horrible botched facial, I am reminded how important good skin care is, especially leading up to your wedding.

Here are three tips to look your best for the wedding:

(1) Invest in Facials
At least six months before, begin getting facials, if you don't already have a regular facial regimen. Why so far in advance? This way you can find which types of products work best for your skin, and you can discover any skin allergies you didn't know you had. For example, I recently found out I am allergic to marine-based products, which cause my skin to flare up like a strawberry patch. You don't want that happening two days before your wedding.

(2) Don't Overdo the Facials
In line with Tip #1, don't overdo your facials, and don't get a facial any closer than a full week before your wedding. I think a facial once a month for six months prior, with your final facial taking place two weeks before your wedding is ideal. This way your skin has time to improve over the course of a long period of time and has sufficient time to "rest" before your wedding.

(3) Clean Your Face Well But Gently
Maintain a gentle skin care regimen. Find a collection of products that cleanses your face thoroughly but not harshly. Moisturizing is key. I currently use Aveda products, including a cleanser, misting toner (to control my oily t-zone), and a light lotion. A less pricey alternative that I like is Cetaphil, which makes both cleansers and lotions. Wash your face when you wake up and before you go to bed. Apply lotion or cream immediately after washing, so as to seal in the moisture. It sounds basic, but you would be shocked to learn how many people don't do this.

You may be wondering why I haven't mentioned sunscreen or exfoliation. While everybody stresses that sunscreen should be worn on a daily basis, I still haven't found a sunscreen that doesn't make me look like a shiny mess, so I'm not about to preach something that I don't, in fact, practice. As for exfoliation, I think a monthly facial takes care of that. No need for grainy stuff like St. Ives.

May your skin be lovely and radiant on the day of your wedding!

Pop-Up Video

It's here! It's here! My maid of honor says it should be on TV. The whole DVD is fabulous. You can get a small taste here. We're the second clip!