Baby Hater

I am not a baby person. I am happy for people who have babies. I am happy for people who love babies. Babies are a blessing.

But, while others coo and cuddle and fawn over li'l bundles of joy, I pass those suckers along like hot potatoes.

Yeah, that's right.

Call me evil. I don't like babies.

I don't know why, but I just don't have a motherly instinct about me. I cringe when an infant is handed my way. I have no desire to hold anybody's baby. And I even think some babies are ugly. Yes, I'm going to Hell.

What bothers me is that everybody around me keeps asking me when we plan to have children. First, that's none of their business. Second, they assume that we will have children. Third, that's none of their business.

"You're not getting any younger."
"I can't wait to babysit."
"Your family is more important than your career."
"You'd make a great mom."

Shut up, shut up, shut up!

And...what?! Clearly, these are comments from people who don't know me very well. Of course, family is the most important thing in the world. However, a family does not necessarily entail having a screeching child. I think that last statement right there lets you know how ridiculous the "great mom" comment is.

This is a big reason I'm not quite ready for The Nest. My local Nest board goes something like this:

baby baby baby blah blah blah baby baby baby blah blah blah baby baby baby blah blah blah baby baby baby blah blah blah baby baby baby blah blah blah baby baby baby blah blah blah baby baby baby blah blah blah baby baby baby blah blah blah baby baby baby blah blah blah baby baby baby blah blah blah baby baby baby blah blah blah baby baby baby blah blah blah baby baby baby blah blah blah baby baby baby blah blah blah baby baby baby blah

Scary stuff.

Everybody keeps telling me that I'll change my mind someday. Someday? I'm already 29. My prime childbearing years have already passed me by. Maybe I will. Maybe I won't. But, for the time being, I wish people would just keep their traps shut.